I Shouldn’t Have Moved to Illinois

A few weeks ago the Pew Center released a study on different states’ financial health. Illinois is amongst the 10 worst, its problem being persistent financial mismanagement and borrowing of money rather than having a balanced budget.

Pew Identifies States, Like California, In Fiscal Peril

Pew Center Report on Illinois

NAMI also gives a low rating to Illinois. Granted, Illinois received the national average rating of “D” but that doesn’t bring me much consolation when I moved from a state with a “B” rating.

NAMI Grading the States 2009

When deciding to move to Chicago, I researched things like cost of living, the culture of the city, and the public transportation system. I didn’t think to research things like financial health and availability of state-provided health insurance. After all, I planned on getting a job and thought Medicaid and health insurance would be distributed like it was in the state that I moved from. That as long as I was broke, I could get health insurance. Not so in Illinois.

My husband and I have already talked about moving if we can’t get a job by the time our lease is up and if I didn’t get into any grad schools. However, that could just open us up to the same problem of moving without a job. Plus, I hate the idea of being forced to move purely for health insurance and because a state is fiscally irresponsible.

At the same time though, if neither a job nor grad school comes through, Chicago is going to feel even more like a bad vacation that has gone on for too long. We have the time to explore the city, but not the money or the peace of mind. We’re just living on borrowed time and borrowed money. Literally.

Networking Using LinkedIn

Everyone emphasizes the importance of networking during a job hunt (that and volunteering), but getting informational interviews has been difficult.

I’ve sent cold emails and tried doing some cold calls with no success. My latest thing is to try looking up people on LinkedIn and contacting them that way. I figure that if they’re on the networking site, then being contacted shouldn’t be as much of a bother to them.

I have gotten four people to respond, but unfortunately only to my initial email, and not my follow-up email. I’m going to give it a few more days, then send them a thank you note with my phone number and call it a day.

Then I guess I have to look for more people and try harder to get them on the phone since so far people appear adverse to email conversations.

Does anyone have any networking tips for someone who has a lot of questions but not much to offer in return?

Target Cashier Job – FAIL

A week or two ago, (I can barely tell the passage of time, not working does that to you), I applied for jobs at Target.

I got called the next day for a job different from what I applied to at that location but whatever, minimum wage is minimum wage.

I showed up 7 minutes late to the interview. According to the CTA bus tracking, which I had my husband watching online, 3 different buses were canceled and the one I caught was delayed, so really, it wasn’t my fault that I was late.

They didn’t seem to care and had me wait 30 minutes to be interviewed. During the first interview, the guy barely made eye contact and may’ve been younger than I am. Then for the second interview, I waited for over 10 minutes in someone’s office.

I thought I did okay for the second interview. The questions she asked were difficult, like to give an example of a time my boss or coworker did something I didn’t like. The hard questions had to do with giving examples of negative things.

About two days later I got an email saying I didn’t get the position. I was a cashier in high school, basically hired on the spot, but now I wasn’t good enough.

Recently, I saw the second interviewer in Target. I asked her if she remembered me and if there was anything I could improve upon. She feigned not really remembering me, but then said that I could have answered questions more directly and shown more enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm. For a cashier time during holiday rush. Oy. This of course had to come from a woman about my age, who I would describe as faking happiness. She’s too loud to be genuine.

Not being the enthusiastic is another thorn in my unemployment side. I thought I was plenty enthusiastic. I have Depression, I don’t naturally smile.

This now has me concerned that I have to be a cheerleader to work in mental health. Do I? I still can’t get any concrete informational interviews to ask. I figure I’ll just ask the staff at the Dincin center, whom thankfully, so far, are friendly but not “enthusiastic.”

Thresholds – Dincin Center

Thresholds has many programs for the mentally ill. One of them appears to be community centers like the Dincin Center. I’ve gone there twice.

It doesn’t have its own website and its daily calendar has errors all over it. The building is really old and the offices dreary. However, the staff have been nice, the members odd but not unfriendly, and they serve free cooked food.

To get a case manager you have to attend groups and come in several times a week. After this, you can become a member, and then get assigned an employment specialist. I wanted to jump straight to employment by have been told “no” by several different people so I guess I’m stuck.

Going in several times a week is difficult as that costs money (public transportation costs) and I’m still having difficulty leaving the apartment. For a while I was walking the dog several times a week and now I’m back to only playing with him outside in the “backyard” area. The fact that it’s been grey outside for the past couple of days doesn’thelp.

Despite not being able to go straight to employment help I’m trying to hold onto some hope that the place will be helpful. One thing that they’re trying to stress to me is that the members have already gone through trying for public aid and know the system pretty well. Still, I’d rather just get a job, or better, have my husband get a job, then fight with Illinois.

In addition, if I can get myself to go, I can try volunteering there, thereby addressing the giant gap in my resume.

Now to see if I can leave the apartment.

Where Things Stand Today

It’s been ages since I’ve written here. I figure I’ll do a post on my current situation then do posts on what has happened since I’ve last written.

Employment

We’re both still unemployed and appear no closer to getting a job than when we first moved here. I was reminded the other day that one of the reasons I may not be getting any call backs is the two year gap in my resume. At the same time though, the person recounted her own difficulties with finding a job despite all her volunteer work. In addition, my husband doesn’t have a huge gap in his resume like I do and he’s having as much trouble as I am.

Financial

My mom finally came through and agreed to give me a sizable loan. I had to beg her for it though and she didn’t offer it to me despite my keeping her updated on all the debt I was running up and having to take out a cash advance at a hefty interest rate. She also found a way for the loan to not come out of her pocket at all. It’s from a credit card offer.

My husband’s mom in the meantime has been tapped dry. The money and loans she’s given us have come out of her own pocket. The different between our parents is striking. Then again, it’s my mom who has OCPD, not his.

As part of that OCPD, my mom is suddenly putting restrictions on the loan. Originally, she was going to give us the whole thing at once. When I asked for the loan in stages, she now has an idea of what I’m using it for and has declared it cannot be used on my husband. Huh? Somehow, my credit card bills to pay for his food and rent to pay for his housing is ok but wanting to use the money for his bankruptcy lawyer is not. This happened yesterday. It stressed me out so much that I couldn’t see straight and had a massive headache. We ended up just going to bed because of the stress she’d caused us.

I’m going to try again today, using a lie to get the money to cover my husband’s bankruptcy. I don’t have enough in the bank to pay for it outright, that’s part of the reason I originally asked for the loan!

Eye Strain

I finally have new glasses. Hopefully my eye strain will be less and I won’t need to take naps as often. Damn astigmatism.

My husband says that stress can increase the pressure in my eyes and I’m feeling it even now. I used to be able to read for hours without a problem. Bleh.

Uninsured

We’re still uninsured and see no way of getting around it. Stroger is now where we have to go for health care. We’re not even sure if our Medicaid denial can be successfully appealed without first getting Social Security which can take who knows how many more months. We seriously moved to the wrong state.

Graduate School

I’m researching graduate schools and trying to start the application process. It’s been a very long time since I started on and completed a project. I keep having doubts about whether or not I can actually do the application, never mind do a graduate school program. My self-esteem is shot and that’s all there is to it. Right now, I’m looking at two schools and three programs. The applications are a lot simpler than I expected. When I first started doing research, I was expecting crazy application essay questions like the ones I got for undergrad. Now it’s just simple “Why do you want to attend our program” questions. When I first started looking I was too early, now I fear I’m too late. The graduate schools are already accepting applications. If I don’t try though, I’ll never know.

I have two main hurdles, getting recommendations from people I haven’t talked to in over three years and taking the GRE. I’m terrified of the GRE because of the cost and because I perform so badly on standardized tests. I’m trying to avoid stress and to keep the depression at bay.

When did I become so fucked up? When did I start to see myself as disabled? As intrinsically different and limited? Bleh. I’m hoping that going to grad school will help alter my perception of myself. While most people can get a BA and certainly anyone can be unemployed, not everyone can get a Master’s degree. I need something to make me feel better about myself and my station in life.

Pet Food Pantries

In addition to food pantries, there are pet food pantries to serve those who are unable to afford pet food to feed their pets. The rationale behind having pet food pantries is to help people keep their pets rather than risk them giving up their animals.

If you have any extra pet food or pet supplies, please consider donating them to animal shelter. Like any nonprofit, they’re always in need of donations. Look around your home, do you have any toys your cat or dog is no longer interested in? Is their food they don’t like to eat? Can you afford to buy food or cat litter to donate? While I strongly support Craigslist and Freecycle, please consider donating your supplies to a shelter instead. It might also save you some time since you won’t have to worry about people flaking out on you

Chicago

In Chicago, several different animal shelters have their own pantries.

AniMeals
Serves Rogers Park and Uptown.

PAWS
Done by appointment. Will provide about one month’s worth of pet food.

For more information on the PAWS Chicago Pet Food Bank, please call the PAWS Chicago Pet Food Bank Hotline at 773-475-9426.

Tree House
(773) 784-5488 ext. 221

National

Itchmo Pet News

National Food Bank Directory

Unresolved: Bankruptcy, Medicaid, Unemployment, etc.

I haven’t posted in a while. I try to post when I have something helpful to say, rather than just complaining. Sadly, I’ve got nothing but a higher cell phone bill from going over on my minutes when calling so many places asking for help.

Here’s what has happened with the main problems I’m experiencing:

Rent and Utilities

I have yet to find a group that will provide me with any type of assistance. I’m repeatedly told to call 311 and to request temporary rental assistance. Problem is, you need to be late on your rent and have a letter from your landlord saying so in order to be eligible. For electricity, you need to be two months late to get assistance, and I forget who that is through. In the end, the basic conclusion is that you won’t receive any kind of monetary assistance unless you are already on the verge of being evicted or having your electricity cut off.

While I can’t say I’ve exhausted all the phone number people have referred me to, but after two weeks of making calls I think that if there was an answer, someone would’ve given it to me by now.

We’ve asked our landlord if we could have our rent lowered and he said he’d get back to us. The unspoken incentive for the landlord is that we might be forced to break our lease because of our financial situation. Even if we don’t break the lease, we’d certainly move at the end of our lease, meaning he’d have to search for new tenants again.

Losing Medicaid

From talking to mental health agencies, it seems that we’re screwed. While one place said they could help advocate for my keeping Medicaid if I had been an existing client, another said that it’s common practice for Medicaid to be granted to people stating psychiatric disability, only have it revoked. They had no ideas on how I could get it reinstated, however. All the places I was referred to gave me the verbal equivalent of a shoulder shrug. I was told, however, that if I got Social Security, then I would have a better chance of regaining Medicaid.

I simply don’t have the money to pay out-of-pocket for sliding scale clinics or generic medications. This means a return to Stroger Fantus Clinic with its dreaded walk-in routine. I’m hoping at least that I can reschedule appointments with the psychiatrists at Fantus so I don’t have to wait all day to be referred to a specialist.

Even though I can’t afford to pay for doctors’ visits, I may have to anyway. My husband needs follow-up on a surgery and I’m reluctant to leave my current psychiatrist as I’m in the process of having my medications changed. To make matters worse, Stroger will only accept prescriptions from a Cook County physician. This means, I have to go through Stroger’s walk-in process if I want to get any of my medications refilled at their pharmacy. While I can understand the possible reasoning behind it, (wanting to check that you aren’t being prescribed medications that Fantus deems unnecessary), it makes the process no less burdensome.

Lack of Income

My husband is declaring bankruptcy because we simply don’t have the money to make his minimum payments. Because we have no income, he’s going to file under Chapter 7. Filing bankruptcy isn’t cheap either. With all the lawyer and court fees, it’ll come to at least $1,500. Where is that going to come from? Probably cash advances from my cards, supposing I can get enough of those.

I’m trying to dig up money wherever it may be. Cashing in “Rewards Points” from credit cards, selling belongings (anyone interested in comic books from the 90’s or bikes that need fixing?), and … I can’t even come up with a third idea.

Making all these phone calls and my husband’s recovery from surgery has lowered the number of jobs we’ve been applying to. I know we’ve got to get our asses in gear and apply, apply, apply but it’s hard to be at all optimistic. This is why networking, however, helpful, is largely out for now. Well, that and the depression that still makes it hard to leave the house or want to talk to people.

Applying for Graduate School

I’ve gone to the two graduate school fairs that I know of and have a list of two schools that I’m definitely applying to. I also have been able to scratch several schools off my list. There’s two more schools that I probably should investigate more, but on the face of it don’t appear to be good choices.

I’ve gone no further than this. I still have to go to these schools’ open houses and do more research on them to prepare my application. The whole financial mess has put graduate school on the back burner. This of course doesn’t alter the application deadlines. All it does is call into question how I’m going to pay for graduate school if I even get in.

Filing for Bankruptcy

Strangely, out of everything, this is the only project that is actually progressing. How depressing. I figure that it’s because we pay someone to help us with it. *sigh*

If anyone has any ideas on how to solve these problems, please let me know. No scams though; they’re a waste of time to read.

Free H1N1 Flu Shots in Chicago

If you check out this link or call 311 you can find out when and where the City of Chicago is providing free H1N1 flu shots.

It is limited to certain groups though, which is also listed on the webpage I linked to.

We Have to Declare Bankruptcy

If you’ve read through a lot of my blog, you can probably guess my age within a few years. For those that haven’t, let me assure you, no one but a child would consider me old.

I don’t own a home, a car, or have any valuable property. I have no assets. Neither does my husband, and yet we’re looking at bankruptcy because of a bad decision and a really, really shitty economy. Oh, and mental illness.

My husband left his job to move to Chicago. We expected him to be able to transfer. That didn’t happen. We at least expected him to find a job before our finances ran out. He has years of real work experience in related fields. Obviously, that didn’t happen.

Now we’re looking at options we never considered. I don’t know why we didn’t think of me filing for disability earlier, especially since I couldn’t work because of the grip of my bipolar depression and OCD. Perhaps it was because I never thought of myself as disabled and didn’t know mental illness fell under the category of disability. I’m still not sure if it does in most cases since it’s not taken as seriously as physical illnesses.

Last week I started calling mental health nonprofits to ask for assistance with finding jobs. I hadn’t considered this before, and looked for jobs on my own, though I did contact these same groups asking for a job with their organization.

My husband has started looking into bankruptcy lawyers and research the issue online. We simply don’t have enough to cover the minimum payments on our credit cards and are going to see our interest rates explode when our payments become late. I don’t know where our rent money is going to come from. I was able to get a loan from my mom that will cover one month, but she says that’s all she’s willing to give me. Other relatives are tapped out as my husband’s mom recently gave him a sizable sum and her work hours were cut. From the loan, we have enough for November’s rent, since rent comes before all other debts.

I want to try negotiating a lower rent with our landlord rather than have him be surprised by a sudden missed or incomplete payment. My husband wants to consult with a lawyer first. If evicted, we don’t have anywhere to go. I refuse to give up our pets; we promised them permanent homes. I want to be a good pet parent and I don’t want to imagine the guilt if I fail to live up to my responsibilities as a mommy.

We’re hoping that my husband can declare bankruptcy and that we can keep a handle on my credit. Without a job though, we’ll eventually run out of money for my minimum credit card payments, regardless of how low they may be.

To top it all off, my husband is in more pain from the surgery than he thought he would be and his doctor refuses to prescribe stronger pain medications. While I can justify trying to push him to do work when he’s feeling depressed, I can’t do that when he’s in pain and needs to sleep as part of recovery.

Scholarship Information for Mental Illness / Disabilities

Note: I cannot endorse any of the links below. If you do find more resources, please let me know. If any of the links I include appear suspicious, please let me know that as well.

Scholarships for People with Mental Illness

American Association on Health and Disability

Check later in the year / 2010.

Incite Education

Lilly Reintegration Scholarship
Limited to Bipolar and Schizophrenia

Scholarships for Seeking Careers in / related to Social Work

Individual schools may offer scholarships for their students.

NASW Foundation

Jewish Vocational Services
Need to be Jewish and have been born / raised in Cook County area OR one continuous year of full-time employment in Cook County or Chicago metropolitan area prior to starting professional education. Covers lots of career options besides those related to social work.

Scholarship Search Sites

Note: I have not gone through these. Never pay a fee to have someone else look for scholarships for you. This is a scam. Please let me know if any of these websites are sketchy.

College Scholarships
CollegeScholarships.org

eNotes
www.enotes.com/scholarships-loans

Fast Web.com
www.fastweb.com

FinAid
www.finaid.org

FindTuition.com
www.findtuition.com

Info.com
www.collegescholarships.info.com

NextStudent
www.nextstudent.com

Scholarship Chicago
www.scholarshipchicago.com

ScholarshipExperts.com
www.scholarshipexperts.com

Scholarship.com
www.scholarships.com

School Soup
www.schoolsoup.com

SimpleTuition
www.simpletuition.com

General Resources

Health Resource Center – George Washington University
- for scholarship information, probably best to call

NAMI