How to Choose a Therapist

Another great post by therapydoc:

Choosing a Therapy Doc, Or Is That A Dodo Bird?

[…]

Bottom line? If you don’t feel a connection with your therapist after the second visit, if you don’t feel you can relate, then you probably should discuss it to see why you may not make a good team. There isn’t a therapist on earth who relates to everyone, and that’s as it should be.

Now. Armed with that very limited treatment overview, that first phone call should go as follow:

Patient: Hi, I got your name from ________ and wondered if you were taking new patients.

Therapist: Sure, but first, very briefly, tell me what you’re looking for.

Then the patient provides a brief summary of the problem, i.e., I want to save my marriage, or I lost my mother, or My wife if cheating on me, or My kid is thirty and won’t leave home, that sort of thing. Whatever it is. Brief.

The therapist then hopefully responds with an empathetic remark, like, Oh, dear. That must not feel so good. Let me see what I have for you, see if our schedules match up, if I can get you in. When did you want to come in? What day/time is best for you?

IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE ANY MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.

Then, at the set appointment time, the patient discusses the problem and the goals and objectives of the therapy, assuming that these are actually important to him. Sometimes they’re not. Sometimes people really do just want to talk, and talk, for weeks and months, indefinitely, and that’s fine, too.

But if a patient has something in mind, certain goals to accomplish, the therapist should somehow communicate that these can be accomplish. The therapist should have a clue as to how. Because face it, the patient doesn’t.

It’s like a first and second date. You really don’t have to see a person a second or third time if you know, deep down, that it’s not a good fit. ….”

——-

My two cents:

Oftentimes your first meeting with a therapist is an intake, during which the therapist may do little more than take notes, so it may take several meetings with him or her to decide if you like the therapist.

While it is troublesome and time consuming to switch therapists and go through the intake process all over it again, it is likely better than staying with a therapist that you think is not helpful to you. If the therapist has a practice with other therapists, you may be able to switch therapists without going through the intake process all over again.

Some helpful hints:

– Research different forms of therapy to see which forms you may like better and which ones you do not think will work for you, then ask the therapist (or the receptionist) if the therapist practices that form of therapy. Unfortunately, the receptionist will probably not know and the therapist might just say he or she is eclectic, but it is worth asking.

– ALWAYS make sure that you understand the billing process. Does the therapist take your insurance(s)? If not, what is the fee? Is there a copay? How is payment made? This should be done for any medical appointment.

– As you people you trust for suggestions, whether they be a friend, fellow support group member, or a professional you are already seeing. Word of mouth is an excellent way to quality therapists, psychiatrists, social workers, etc.

– Be open to seeing a student who offers sliding-scale fees if you cannot afford a licensed therapist. Usually, the student is being supervised by a licensed clinician. While a Master’s student is not likely to have a lot of experience, a Doctoral student might.

– To figure out what degree your potential or current therapist has, please see my post “Understanding Those Letters that Come After People’s Names.” Of course, you can always ask them directly. 🙂